Once again, it's time for a Completely Useless Movie Preview. This time, I'll give you valuable information and an outside peek at World Trade Center.
This is a movie about some sort of disaster. I haven't really read any of the publicity materials, but it seems like maybe it could be about an earthquake, a volcano, an alien invasion, or Godzilla. The real point is, the World Trade Center is in danger, and only cops with bad Brooklyn accents and molester mustaches can help.
Enter Nicolas Cage, conveniently wearing an officer's hat so he doesn't have to wear a toupee. As a molestached New York cop, he leads a team of police who are very skilled in walking shoulder-first, in a 75-degree sideways sort of manner, into action.
This movie seems to have a lot of scenes of cops walking with their shoulders jutting out ahead of them, because this is a Very Brave Walk. Whether this walk will stand up to Godzilla, I can't say, having not seen the movie and having no intention to. If it is indeed about Godzilla, the only words I have to say are, "too soon." But there they are, walking sideways into the danger zone, their short, peach-fuzzy mustaches flapping ever-so-slightly in the Danger Breeze, which is a dramatic wind that comes from anything dangerous in movies. Sharks, killer bees, tornadoes- these are all sources of Danger Breeze. So the Gozdilla thing is just a guess- after all, he probably emits Danger Breeze, too.
We can only assume that one of the characters will die. This will add Meaning and Purpose, and allow the character to come back from the dead in any sequels. It'll probably be the enthusiastic Latin cop, and he'll appear magically in the shower in the next movie (World Trade Center II: Tokyo Drift) and reveal that it was all a dream. Then Godzilla will kill him for real. Because Godzilla is a fucking ironic son of a bitch like that.
Without seeing anything more than TV commercials, I give this film, on a scale of 1 to 88 stars, a final score of Disqualified, because those mustaches are really, really annoying. And so are all these damn 9/11 movies that keep rearing their ugly heads.
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