Not that They Actually Did It

So OJ Simpson, noble chivalric knight that he is, is releasing a book that explains, if he had been guilty, how exactly he would have cut up his ex-girlfriend and her date almost fifteen years ago. How he would have gotten rid of the bloody gloves, what he would have told Kato on the couch, and how Johnnie Cochran would have gotten him acquitted. You know, if he were guilty. Which we all know he's not. Ahem.

This could begin a whole genre of "If I HAD Done It, Here's How" books. Enron execs would explain exactly how they would have bilked their investors, if they had really been capable of such acts. Florida election officials would compose tell-alls about how they would have rigged an election, and could very easily have gotten away with it, repeatedly, were not but for the grace of Katherine Harris and her good judgment. K-Fed would explain, in poor, misspelled scrawlings peppered with the word "yo", how he could have tarnished Britney's career ("Step 1: Take all her money") but chose not to.

Taking this to its logical extreme, we could finally find long-lost Hitler diaries, wherein he reveals his secret to pure evil. If he were into that sort of thing. Mel Gibson's dad would believe him.