Yo Gabba Gabba, or, The Party in My Tummy

Hey! Want to be scared? Sure, we all do! And it doesn't take a viewing of the Halloween remake to do it. Why, you can be frightened out of your wits in the comfort of your own home, and bring the kids along for the ride!

Somehow, Biz Markie (he's got what you ne-EEd) was allowed to have a career again. Only this time, he's appearing on children's television. He makes several appearances on Yo Gabba Gabba!, a freakish hybrid of Godzilla, Power Rangers and the Mr. Men books, conceived by the Aquabats.

The setup is this. DJ Lance Rock (think Mr. Rogers in a tracksuit, only more condescending, like he's dealing with the retarded) plays with and feeds his living action figures in a giant cut-out diorama. The figures come to life in the form of people in rubber monster suits, and the camera zooms into the diorama and shows them close-up, taking orders from the good DJ. They stomp around, dance, and shoot each other with lasers. Their costumes are particularly disturbing, with one appearing as a big, nubbed, rounded red cylinder that looks like a dancing dildo. Segments are broken up with retro 80's video game graphics set to hyperactive Japanese anime music. Sometimes Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo shows up to teach the monsters how to draw.

But to describe the show with words does injustice to the sheer terror that will envelop you as you watch this. Some clips are much more disturbing than others. Do you have a party in your tummy?

So. In about twenty years, we can expect the pharmaceutical industry to make record profits, as an entire generation tries to block out the damage incurred during their fragile, warped youth.