Question 7? What's the Question Again?

Question 7 on the Nevada ballot would legalize small amounts of marijuana for personal use. The proponents of the measure have finally cobbled together enough cash to put on a TV commercial. Unfortunately for them, they didn't bother to sober up before putting it together. Bummer!

For starters, being able to hear it would be nice. The volume is recorded so low that you can't even tell what it's about. I wouldn't have had an idea until I saw the ending, where words appeared on the screen. From what I can gather, their argument is that, um... well, there is an argument. Of that we can be somewhat sort of certain, kind of.

The first shot is of some state politician. I don't know who he is because I couldn't hear, and come on, nobody knows their state politicians. The shot is supposed to link him to Bush somehow, because in the background, about twenty feet behind the guy, is a blurry, ghostly President Bush caught in motion! Apparently this was the only shot of the two together that could be dug up. Be careful, citizens! This guy, presumably against the measure, once walked past Bush!

The second shot is a black and white photo of Osama bin Laden. The picture slowly zooms from a dot in the distance right up into your face. Agggh!!! He's totally after us! And dude, my hands are really weird looking in the black light! Remember, if you don't legalize pot, the terrorists will have won.

Next we see Yucca Mountain. We know it's Yucca Mountain because helpful text says, "Yucca Mountain". For those who don't know, Yucca is a giant slab of rock a couple hours northwest of Vegas, where the rest of the country wants to store its nuclear waste in underground caverns. Residents of Nevada tend to oppose this because they're convinced that their state would otherwise be habitable. They are wrong. Anyway, the commercial is trying to suggest that marijuana opponents should lighten up, smoke a bowl, and accept some nuclear waste while they're at it. I think. I'm not really clear on this one.

Finally, we see a cartoon checkmark and ominous text telling us to vote yes on 7 to "regulate marijuana". I looked this up, and that is indeed the way the ballot question is phrased. By "regulate", they actually mean "de-criminalize", which is tricky because I bet it would be really easy to get people opposed to it to accidentally vote for it, the same way Floridians voted for Pat Buchanan. But Floridians are pretty dumb, so I don't know if that trick will work here. Regardless, this is the first clue as to what the commercial is supposed to be about. Except it comes at the end, where the low-budget UHF station that they're airing it on can (and will) accidentally clip it off with a mis-timed Mork & Mindy promo. D'oh! This is really harshing their buzz!

I write this as someone who would actually probably vote for the measure, seeing as how ridiculous our existing drug laws are. But still, couldn't they find any competent creative people to put this together? I'd figure all the artists and writers out there would jump aboard pro-bono, just so they didn't have to venture into the ghetto and get shot buying a baggie.