Winds of Change

Britney finally realized K-Fed is a loser!

Alas, poor K-Fed, we hardly knew ye. Well, we knew that you sucked, that your new album was possibly the worst thing ever committed to recording since Vanilla Ice told us to send acknowledgments to our mothers, and that you were pulling poor Brit down into the black hole of career doom. But asides from that, you were a mystery. A riddle, wrapped in an enigma, covered by a sideways trucker hat that would have gotten you shot by most of the people you thought were your audience.

And now, I'd like to ask for a moment of silence in honor of K-Fed's short-lived marriage and career.

No, wait. Silence isn't enough to mourn this deep loss. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!

Goodbye Kevin Fed,
Though we never knew you at all
You had the nerve to put
Your hands in Britney's wallet (and on her goods).

And it seems to me, you lived your life
Like a no-good white trash poser
Never knowing how to sing
Or who to knock up next
And I would have liked to known you
And maybe straighten out your hat
Your money train ran out long before
Your Hollywood Squares appearances did.

Thanks, Elton. You really know how to capture a moment. Here's your fifty mil.