Blog Hits 4 Jesus

The Supreme Court has ruled that a student's unfurling of a banner reading, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" is not protected speech, because it could reasonably be deemed as supporting drug use. (In case you didn't know, there's some fine print in the Constitution that exempts drug speech. Thus, Dude, Where's My Car? has absolutely no protections under the First Amendment.)

You know who the real loser is in all of this? No, not the student, who judging by the speed of the legal process is probably dead by now. No, not the general public. Eroding rights are something we should be used to by now. If you're able to speak freely, the terrorists will win. (Unless you're leaking secret CIA identities. That's cool.)

No, the real loser is Jesus. Because now, he'll have fewer stoners in his flock. And stoners are generally pretty fun to hang out with. Now that church and bong hits have been constitutionally separated, Jesus just isn't as cool to party with anymore.